I thought I would never come back to blogging. I didn’t stop for any particular reason. I just got busy and ran out of things to say and time to write.

Ironically, I’ll have less time this year than ever. But now that I’m a college student, I definitely have stuff to write about. So I’m gonna give blogging another shot. Wish me luck? :)

This is post number one at the beginning of my journey. For those of you who don’t know, I just moved in to Anderson University on Saturday, and I honestly already feel at home here. The dorms are great, the people are great and the food is definitely manageable. :)

Seeing everyone for the first time on Saturday was a weird feeling. Especially because half the people I recognized from our freshman class’s Facebook group.

But I noticed something. Everybody seemed really confident and excited about moving in online. People sounded ready to go to college and ready to party. But the same exact people didn’t look so ready on Saturday. In fact, a lot of them looked scared and confused and nervous.

And it made me realize that no matter how big and fearless we try to appear, we’re all vulnerable. We all have weaknesses and fears and pain. And college is a place full of lots of broken people, trying to act like somebody while at the same time figuring out who they are.

All that to say, I’ll admit I’m a little intimidated. A little lonely maybe and a little nervous. But that’s okay. You are too, if you’re in the same place, admit it or not. :)

And more importantly, there’s a God who changes the equation. A God that stays the same no matter what life looks like at any given moment.

I read Genesis 1 and 2 today. And two thoughts stuck out to me. First, I serve the God who created the universe. Like, the God who made the earth I’m standing on right now also knows me and understands me and loves me. Dang. That’s amazingly reassuring.

Then, I read Genesis 2 where God says that “it is not good for a man to be alone.” I don’t think He was just talking about Adam. I think that statement applies to you and to me.

Whether you’re in college or middle school or 30 years down the road in a career, we weren’t created to do this alone. Life was made to be shared. Your story was meant to be lived in community.

And if I’m gonna survive this next phase of life, community will be essential. I need people to support me and tell me when I’m wrong and walk through both good and bad times with me.

All that to say, I’m thankful tonight. Thankful for a roommate and suite mates who love Jesus and are awesome friends. Thankful for a college experience I can honestly say I love. And most of all, thankful for a God who is with me. Right here. Right now. With you too.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

But even if you didn’t, you can basically summarize their programming in one sentence: Tween stars (Jonas brothers, Miley Cyrus, etc.) tell you all about the latest rides at Disney World and how amazing their celebrity lives are. That’s basically it.

And I must admit, they sure looked like they were having fun. Back in the day of That’s So Raven and Kim Possible and Phil of the Future, I sure wanted to be a star just like them.

Think about it. All the fans. All the attention. And most of all, free tickets to Disney World! Can you get any better than that?

Well, Billy Ray Cyrus recently crushed that idea to pieces and simultaneously created a PR disaster for Disney. He told interviewers that Hannah Montana destroyed his family and that he would give anything just to have a normal family again.

For all the girls who idolized Hannah Montana, that has to hurt. Maybe being a Disney star isn’t so great after all.

But this isn’t an isolated incident. In the same week of that interview, news came out that the father of the piano prodigies, the 5 Browns, had been charged for sexually abusing his daughters. I’ve met those guys – they seemed like cool people in person. But despite the fact that they’re “living the dream,” there’s a lot of pain in their lives too.

And to top it all off, I just watched The Social Network. It’s an intriguing story, but it’s honestly kinda depressing. You find out that Mark Zuckerburg actually turned against his best friend in the process of creating Facebook, and you don’t actually walk away from the movie thinking very highly of him.

Ok, so Miley may have her own TV show. The 5 Browns may be beasts at piano (*jealous*). And Mark Zuckerburg may have 500 million friends. But the more details come out, we realize their lives are to a large degree disappointments.

Since I’m seriously considering a career in media or music, I have to seriously think through this stuff. Is the American dream that I’ve grown up hearing and dreaming about really a scam? In many cases, it probably is.

And I start to wonder, how many people end up with disappointing lives? How many of us find ourselves in the middle of stories we hate, hoping things will someday get better? And if you can’t count on fame or money or friends, what can you count on?

Then I remember the words I heard a long time ago in church. Romans 10:11 – “For the Scripture says, whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.”

My debate teacher would have called that an absolute universal. There are no conditions. Not “if you live a perfect life” or “if you’re a good decision maker.” It just says everyone who believes.

Tonight, I’m finding it a little difficult to believe. I’m worried about the future. Heck, I’m worried about the SAT tomorrow. And I don’t know where I’m going to end up or what I’m supposed to do with my life.

I look at the tsunami in Japan, and when you see a tragedy like that, it’s hard to believe things will be okay. When everything around you is dangerous and painful and complicated, faith isn’t an easy word.

But I know there is someone I can trust. I know there is somewhere I can put my faith that will never let me down. And in the middle of all the chaos and confusion of life, I’m going to trust him.

And I know I will never be disappointed.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

Be saved or microwaved!!!!!

We’re voting for Jesus this year!

Ever seen something like that and wondered if we as Christians have got it all wrong? I have. At least, I know that I personally had it all wrong a few years ago.

My perspective on following Jesus used to look like this:

Hey! Wouldn’t it be awesome if we as Christians were no different from normal people? We should talk and act like everyone around us, then drop subtle (or in the case of those signs/bumper stickers, not so subtle) hints that Christianity really is cool after all.

I honestly think a lot of people have that perspective, or at least, they live like they do. And it would be okay, except it’s not what Jesus said.

In Matthew 5:16, Jesus says, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Notice: Jesus didn’t say hand out massive amounts of tracts. He didn’t say your ringtone had to be a Christian song. He didn’t even endorse all the bumper stickers, guitar picks and tees with his name on it.

Jesus said live differently. Let your good works reflect him. Show people a different way to love and to sacrifice and to give. It’s then that he will be glorified.

This is a scary thought. It’s a lot easier just to type in something under religious views on Facebook. After all, being different is not always easy or fun. But that’s what Jesus told us to do.

Complaining is expected. Jesus says be different.

Bitterness is normal. Jesus says stand out.

Hopelessness is the norm. Jesus says we can have hope.

Can we stop trying to be duplicates of the empty culture around us, hoping our necklaces and license plates will point people to truth? And let’s instead start living as real, genuine followers of Jesus.

I’m not writing this because I’ve gotten there, and I know my life is not always a great example of this. Yours may not be either. But our world will recognize when we dare to be different. They will notice when we have a love and a peace and a joy they don’t understand. And in the end, God will get all the glory. That makes it all worth it.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

For one thing, I was there that night. I passed the girls bathroom with its enormously long line, and I obviously had no clue what had happened until it came on the news the day after. It felt so strange knowing that life had begun and almost ended while I was there. But that wasn’t the only reason I kept thinking about it.

This may sound a little weird, but I felt like what happened was a picture of all of our lives. We’ve all felt the pain of rejection and loneliness. We’ve all been forgotten and ignored and treated like a piece of trash. And at some point in our lives, we’ve all felt hopeless – like there was nowhere to go and no way to make the pain go away.

But the baby’s story didn’t end with abandonment. It ended with a rescue.

Although that baby could do nothing to save himself, someone noticed. Someone cared. And someone rescued. And this is where things get personal.

I was trapped; hopeless; enslaved and unable to do anything about it. But God reached down and rescued me. He sent his son down to earth to be slaughtered on a cross, so I could experience the power of mercy and forgiveness. That is truly amazing.

I’ll never understand why he did it or how in the world he could love me, but I know this: God rescues. And it doesn’t stop after we invite him into our lives. He is always there to rescue.

An admired king who cheated on his wife and murdered to cover his tracks. A prostitute whose city was about to be utterly destroyed. A disciple who denied knowing Jesus and even cursed him.

All of them were rescued.

As I thought about all of this, I wanted to write a song. I wanted to put in music the idea that even in our darkest moments, we are loved and understood and known. I think that’s the most important thing to remember when we don’t know how we’re going to get up in the morning and survive another day.

Even if nobody else notices or cares or takes the time to find out what’s wrong, there is someone who knows. We don’t even have to put it into words. He already knows. And because of him, we have hope.

I’ll warn you now; this song is still rough around the edges. I’ve only finished one verse and the chorus so far. But I want you guys to give me thoughts on it.

I don’t know what that baby will be named, but I named this “Joshua’s Song” because the name Joshua literally means “God rescues.” And that’s what we all need. Not religion. Not tradition. Not an attempt to live better or a strong will. We need rescue.

Joshua’s Song

Verse 1:

Frozen solid as the world swims by

Feeling numb but trying not to cry

Drifting slowly through the atmosphere

Heart pounding with the beat of fear.

Pre-Chorus:

I know the pain just seems so deep,

But every hurt can heal

I know you think this is the end,

But I see tomorrow

Chorus:

Even in the shadows, you are seen

You think you’re drowning; you’ll be rescued

You feel unheard but you are not alone . . .

Even when it feels like you can’t breathe,

You are heard and you are understood

And in these moments, all these moments,

You are known.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

I remember the first time it happened to me. I was in middle school, and I was on the mock trial team. We had spent hours and hours preparing, and we thought we were the best team there. (I’m sure we actually weren’t.)

Problem was, when they announced the finalists over a lasagna lunch, our school’s name wasn’t read. We didn’t make it.

I remember how depressing that felt. None of us even felt like staying to watch finals. We boarded the bus and left in the middle of the afternoon, wondering if the whole experience had been a waste of time.

And I specifically remember someone on my team saying, “Now’s when we hope a bomb goes off during finals or something like that, so we know there was a reason we didn’t make it.”

As dumb and middle-schoolish as that sounds, isn’t that how we often feel? We needed the job. We were dying to go to that college. The relationship was going so well. And if we can’t get the promotion or be the winner or at least make the team, we want there to be a clear reason.

I know I didn’t leave that selfishness behind in middle school. It’s still a part of me today. And with all those thoughts in mind, I came across this verse yesterday.

When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.” So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. (Exodus 13:17-18)

The Israelites were finally free. They had just been released after years of bondage and slavery. And still, God was watching out for them.

The Philistine road would have been more convenient. It was shorter and probably a lot more comfortable than going through the desert. From their perspective, God led them on a completely unnecessary detour. And when they ended up facing the Red Sea with an army on their trail, they probably had a lot of questions for God.

But God knew something they didn’t know. He saw what awaited them on the Philistine road. It would have meant war, and God knew they weren’t ready for that.

That verse is so comforting to me, because my life is full of times when I feel like God is sending me detours and obstacles. I’ll have something all figured out and planned, and God will just step in and cancel it. Those times are never easy to understand. And even though I’m writing this now, I’ll probably have one of those moments a week from now and have to come back to these words.

Looking at that verse, though, we know this. God has reasons. We may not always see them or understand them. But they are there. As one of my teachers often says, God knows the “what if’s”. He knows what lies behind every decision and possibility, and he always has our best interest in mind.

I’ve been thinking about these lyrics of Andrew Peterson’s “Many Roads” a lot lately.

You can see the roads that we all traveled just to get here
A million minuscule decisions in a line
Why they brought us to this moment isn’t clear
But that’s all right, we’ve got all night

Could it be that the many roads
You took to get here
Were just for me to tell this story
And for you to hear this song
And your many hopes
And your many fears
Were meant to bring you here all along

I started thinking about the possibility of there really being no coincidences. What if there was a reason I grew up in this home and this school and this town? What if there really was an explanation for all the difficult days of high school? Could it be that maybe God wanted Andrew Peterson to write that song and then wanted me to come across it?

When I read Exodus 13, I knew the answers to all those questions. Yes, yes and yes.

The many roads leading to where I am right now are complicated and at times confusing, but they have led me to exactly where I need to be. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

Well, I recently got done with Job. It seemed like I would never be done with that book. If you aren’t familiar with the story, Job is a wealthy man who loves God and has a great family. Life is going pretty well for him at the beginning of the book. Then, Satan makes a deal with God, and God gives him permission to harm Job provided he does not take his life. Suddenly, everything goes wrong for Job. First, his animals are stolen, and his servants are kidnapped. As if that wasn’t bad enough, his kids are partying when a tornado hits the house and destroys all of them. And to top it all off, Job gets horribly painful sores all over himself.

I think it’s pretty safe to say Job had a bad day. But the story doesn’t end there. The people around Job have a lot to say to him. First, his wife tells him that life is not worth living anymore, and he should just curse God and die. Then, his friends chime in, trying to sound all spiritual, and tell him that he must have done something horrible for God to be treating him that way, and that he just needs to repent. They say it in a lot more words than that though. In fact, it takes almost 40 chapters before they’re done. At the very end of the book, God repays Job for everything that he lost and blesses him immensely. But it sure takes a while to get there.

Day after day, I had to read Job’s endless questions and the bad advice of his friends. I didn’t get a satisfying ending until several days later. And who wants to end their devotions with “Curse God and die?” I wished I could get to the happy ending sooner.

But it occurred to me that maybe that’s representative of how life is. I like everything to work out within a matter of minutes or at most hours. If my day includes a little stress or tension, fine. But I want to go to bed in complete peace. Sometimes, though, I go to bed without answers. I have to go to sleep dealing with pain, or even worse, just feeling numb. And sometimes, I can go for days without feeling like I get the meaning of life. And maybe the point of Job is just how much of life can look like that.

That’s why the ending of Job means so much to me. When you finally get to chapter 38, even before Job’s life starts to work out, you read these incredible words. “Then God spoke to Job out of the storm.”

Job had heard from so many other voices. So many people who thought they understood him and his problems. And yet they weren’t the voices he needed to hear. He needed to hear from God.

So do we. Talking to parents and friends and counselors is a good idea and helpful at times, but God is one we need the most. And the story of Job is an amazing reminder that no matter how long or fierce the storm may be, God is there.

It’s interesting that God doesn’t offer an explanation. As far as we know, he never tells Job that he was allowing Satan to test him. What he does offer is hope. God reminds Job that he made everything, and that he is in control of it all. And that is enough. For Job and for us.

Even if life doesn’t make sense. Even if we can’t understand how love means pain. God is somehow behind it all, working for our good. And he calls out of the storm and asks us to trust.

I don’t know who you are tonight or what story you are living. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced a tornado of events like Job. But I do know this. There is a reason for it all. And I really mean that. All the stuff you want to hide and forget about and ignore and wish never happened. There is a reason for it all.

I’m not saying you’re ever going to figure it out; Job never did. But you can know this tonight. God created the mountains and the ocean and every flower and insect and star. And God created you. He knows your story right now. And God wants you to trust. He doesn’t promise answers or immediate happy endings. But he guarantees us his love. And that should be enough.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

Greenville got it’s first big snowstorm since 1988. Granted, that only means 6 or 7 inches of snow, but it was enough to shut the whole city down for a couple days. :) Anyway, the first morning of the snow, I walked outside to play in the snow with my younger brother and sister. And I noticed the strangest thing. All these people were outside in their yards and walking around the block, and most of them I had never even seen before. We started asking people where they lived and how long they had lived there, and it turned out most of them lived in our subdivision and had lived there for a while.

It felt weird. I mean, obviously, we’re not going to know everyone in the subdivision. But I did wonder why it took a snowstorm to get us out of our houses to meet each other. It was kinda sad, because it made me realize that there are awesome people living great stories all around us, and we don’t even take the time to get to know them.

Made me think of being in the hospital. Being in the waiting room of a hospital, especially on the ICU floor, is a strange experience. There’s a random collection of people there; you probably haven’t met any of them before. And yet, you all share something in common. You’re all there for someone else, wondering if they’re going to be okay, if they’re going to make it. And somehow, you share the pain together. I think that’s the way life is supposed to work. I think God wants us to share our stories with the people around us.

Maybe, after hearing so many messages about how loving our neighbors means loving everyone, we’ve forgotten that it does actually include our literal neighbors too. Maybe there’s a reason that couple with the obnoxious dog lives next door to you. Or perhaps there’s a reason that guy who never talks to anyone is on your street. How would the world change if we started loving our neighbors?

I know some moments in this song are cheesy. :) It’s still a work in progress. But let me know what you think.

Verse 1:

It’s too cold tonight; can’t see any stars

The clouds are in the way, and all I feel is dark.

They say it’s supposed to snow; we’ll all be trapped inside.

Don’t really care, kinda just want to hide.

Wake up and walk outside; see the ground is white

In every yard are people I don’t know

And then it hits me that I never loved my neighbor

Can’t believe it’s my first time to say hello.

Chorus:

Why does it take a storm to bring us together?

Do we have to lose power before we lose ourselves?

Maybe we’ve got more in common than the weather

If we look around and see beyond ourselves.

Verse 2:

Never thought I’d find myself standing in the ICU

The life of a good friend on the line.

But I’m not the only one who’s carrying this weight.

There are others here, their pain is worse than mine.

So I know that I don’t know you,

And you don’t know my name

But could you for one minute take my hand?

Could we share the hurt together like it was meant to be

And pray that someday we will understand?

Bridge:

So what if they are noisy and their car is newer too?

They just might be hurting, and the answer might be you.

Why did I judge when I never got to know them?

The truth is on the inside, on the inside, we’re all human.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

If you haven’t read my blog before, well, actually you probably don’t know I have a blog because I haven’t posted since October. That’s right – October. To put it nicely, I took a lengthy break from writing. To put it more bluntly, I’m a quitter. But for reasons I will try to explain, I’m back.

Yesterday, I was reflecting on my journey through middle school and high school. I know that might sound a little over-dramatic, but for me, it really has been a journey.

College always seemed so far away. When I was in elementary school, I knew that middle school and high school were in my distant future, but I always felt like it would be an eternity before I got to college. It’s actually pretty ironic considering I’m now making plans for college and starting to look back on all of those years.

I remember how excited I was to enter middle school. I remember how cool it seemed to have my own locker and change classes during the day. It was all so new and exciting.

I remember how High School Musical came out, and we were all still watching Disney Channel in 7th grade even if we wouldn’t admit it. (Don’t deny it. You watched it. Even if you blamed it on your little sister.) And those years really were the start of something new for me.

Then, I remember my first day of high school and how different from junior high it was. At the time, all the seniors seemed so old and grownup. And now, I am the senior. I’m almost done. I’m getting ready to graduate and getting ready for the next big stage of my life.

The weird thing is, I remember thinking elementary school was perfect. And middle school. And a year or two ago, high school. They all seemed so perfect at the time.

As I was thinking through all of this, I realized something. You’re only a kid once. You only experience the awkward puberty-filled days of middle school once (thankfully). And I’ve only got one shot at this thing we call high school.

So I want to take advantage of every day I have. I don’t want to just let the next few months go to waste and fade into a blur because college is coming. This is my last chance to be a high schooler, and I intend to do just that.

For a while, I didn’t want to write. I wanted to get through high school and move on, not have to spend so much time thinking about it.  But trying to hide pain doesn’t make things any easier. Just avoiding your loneliness won’t make it go away. And trying to keep everything inside is one of the hardest and most harmful things we can do. So I decided I’m going to write again. It may not always make sense, and it may not be read by that many people. But it will make a huge difference to me.

So here’s a prayer that this semester will be unforgettable and amazing, not just for me, but for you, wherever you are and whatever story you are living. My message hasn’t really changed. Live life to the fullest; laugh, love and live like it was your last day on earth. And remember, no matter where you find yourself tonight, there is always hope. Who knows? This could be the start of something new for all of us. :) Love you guys. Thanks for reading.

laugh. love. live.

stephen

My school has a senior trip every year to this camp called the WILDS. I honestly went not expecting much. I’ve grown up with lots of the people in my senior class since kindergarten, and I really didn’t think we were really going to change all that much. But I was wrong. :)

God broke me down in so many ways I didn’t expect. He showed me so many areas in my life in which I really was not following Jesus, and he gave me the desire to change. I’m just going to share a couple things.

First, I have big authority issues. If I don’t respect a certain authority in my life, I justify disrespect and disobedience. And I saw so clearly this week that’s not ok with God. Romans 13:2 says, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.”

Ouch. I had to realize my attitude with my teachers and my parents and any other authority was not just a bad attitude toward them; it was a problem with God. And I finally stopped making excuses for that.

Second of all, God showed me how insignificant my personal standards are in the light of his plan for humanity. I don’t need to argue with everyone and try to convince them I’m right. I don’t need to get all defensive when people disagree about my standards. Romans 14 says, “ Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.”

God wants us to be convinced about what we believe, but it’s not our job to judge each other. In fact, God doesn’t want us to judge each other’s standards. He wants us to make sure we are hurting other people in any way. And honestly, I have never had that focus. So I’m sorry to anyone that I may have hurt in this area, and I ask you to pray that I can change.

Another area God spoke to me about was being open and honest with other believers. All throughout the week, I got the chance to have many fantastic conversations with a bunch of people in my class. And we all shared struggles that we had faced and were facing. It was hard at first and a little awkward to talk about personal issues in our lives. But in the end, it was completely worth it. And over and over again this week, I heard a resounding message from everyone in my class.

It’s okay to be honest. It’s okay to be transparent – even when it comes to parts of our lives that are anything but pretty. Asking for help is not a bad thing – it’s something we need to do. And I want that to continue all year long.

One final thought – God can do the impossible. We see this all throughout the Bible. I was recently reminded of the story where Joshua asks God to make the sun stand still (obviously impossible), and God listened and answered his prayer. This week, we prayed that God would change all of our hearts, and especially that God would bring people into a relationship with him.

I didn’t have a lot of faith about that at the start of the week, but God showed me that we have to ask in faith. He doesn’t want half-hearted, unbelieving prayers from us. He wants us to pour out our burdens to him and expect him to answer. And that’s what we did this week.

I stood in awe on Thursday night as I watched person after person come to Christ – even people I had honestly given up on. It reminded me that God really does answer with great and mighty things, better than we could have ever imagined.

So I know this post was long and all over the place, but thanks for reading. And to all of my senior class: I love you guys. I am so thankful that we are such a unified class now. Let’s all pray for each other and keep each other accountable as we go back to school. The change isn’t going to be automatic. And we’re all going to screw up and be tempted to quit and give up on it all. But we have each other, and we have an amazing Savior who can ALWAYS give us the victory. We have no reason to be afraid or discouraged. This is going to be an amazing year. I just know it. :)

laugh. love. live.

stephen

It’s funny how all it takes is little things to remind us of pain. A song on the radio, a cup of coffee, a Facebook status. Something as small as that can bring us back to bad memories that we want to forget. And that started happening to me. Summer was going pretty well, but then I started remembering pain. And it all came back to me. The sleepless nights, the abandoned feeling, the unanswered questions. I really didn’t want to go back there.

But I found this amazing story. Yes, it’s long. Read it anyway. :)

Aman was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. This was the same Mary who massaged the Lord’s feet with aromatic oils and then wiped them with her hair. It was her brother Lazarus who was sick. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Master, the one you love so very much is sick.” When Jesus got the message, he said, “This sickness is not fatal. It will become an occasion to show God’s glory by glorifying God’s Son.”Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, but oddly, when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed on where he was for two more days. After the two days, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.”

They said, “Rabbi, you can’t do that. The Jews are out to kill you, and you’re going back?”

Jesus replied, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in daylight doesn’t stumble because there’s plenty of light from the sun. Walking at night, he might very well stumble because he can’t see where he’s going.”

He said these things, and then announced, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep. I’m going to wake him up.”

The disciples said, “Master, if he’s gone to sleep, he’ll get a good rest and wake up feeling fine.” Jesus was talking about death, while his disciples thought he was talking about taking a nap.

Then Jesus became explicit: “Lazarus died. And I am glad for your sakes that I wasn’t there. You’re about to be given new grounds for believing. Now let’s go to him.”

That’s when Thomas, the one called the Twin, said to his companions, “Come along. We might as well die with him.”

When Jesus finally got there, he found Lazarus already four days dead. Bethany was near Jerusalem, only a couple of miles away, and many of the Jews were visiting Martha and Mary, sympathizing with them over their brother. Martha heard Jesus was coming and went out to meet him. Mary remained in the house.

Martha said, “Master, if you’d been here, my brother wouldn’t have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you.”

Jesus said, “Your brother will be raised up.”

Martha replied, “I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.”

“You don’t have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Master. All along I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God who comes into the world.”

After saying this, she went to her sister Mary and whispered in her ear, “The Teacher is here and is asking for you.”

The moment she heard that, she jumped up and ran out to him. Jesus had not yet entered the town but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When her sympathizing Jewish friends saw Mary run off, they followed her, thinking she was on her way to the tomb to weep there. Mary came to where Jesus was waiting and fell at his feet, saying, “Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews with her sobbing, a deep anger welled up within him. He said, “Where did you put him?”

“Master, come and see,” they said. Now Jesus wept.

The Jews said, “Look how deeply he loved him.”

Others among them said, “Well, if he loved him so much, why didn’t he do something to keep him from dying? After all, he opened the eyes of a blind man.” Then Jesus, the anger again welling up within him, arrived at the tomb. It was a simple cave in the hillside with a slab of stone laid against it.

Jesus said, “Remove the stone.” The sister of the dead man, Martha, said, “Master, by this time there’s a stench. He’s been dead four days!”

Jesus looked her in the eye. “Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” Then, to the others, “Go ahead, take away the stone.” They removed the stone.

Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and prayed, “Father, I’m grateful that you have listened to me. I know you always do listen, but on account of this crowd standing here I’ve spoken so that they might believe that you sent me.”

Then he shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out, a cadaver, wrapped from head to toe, and with a kerchief over his face. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him loose.”

I love this because it shows us exactly how God feels about our pain. In the story, Mary and Martha are feeling a LOT of pain. Their brother is dying, and all they want is for Jesus to make it all better. They know he has the power to completely take the sickness away. But he doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t even show up until after Lazarus is dead. And Mary and Martha are left with a whole lot more questions than answers. Why didn’t Jesus come before it was too late? Why doesn’t he care about their brother/his friend? Why in the world did God let this happen?

In the middle of all their questions, we find one of the most powerful statements in the Bible: “Jesus wept.” Let’s not forget – he was still Jesus. He knew the ending to the story. He knew all along that Lazarus would be alive in a matter of minutes. But he wept.

Something inside of Jesus felt pain, and he chose to let it out. In that moment, he showed us that it’s okay to cry. It’s ok to feel broken and scared and alone. It just means you’re a human being with feelings and emotions. And when you hurt, you’re not alone. Though some in the crowd that day didn’t initially understand, Jesus was sending a very clear message to the world – the simple message that he loves you too deeply not to feel your pain.

But we can’t ignore the rest of the story. The story doesn’t end with tears and frustration. It ends with answers and hope. A community is faced with one of man’s greatest enemies – death. And for a while, it seemed like death won. Jesus couldn’t make it in time. Nothing could make Lazarus better. Death got its way.

Then, Jesus says the unthinkable. “Remove the stone.” He makes them return to the past, to things that left them angry and confused. He dares to suggest that despite the fact that everyone had given up, it really wasn’t over yet.

And right before all of the people, Lazarus walks out of the tomb. Jesus performs his greatest miracle – bringing dead people to life. He showed us that he has power over everything, even death. That nothing is too big or too powerful for him to handle. He has the final word on pain.

And he had a plan the whole time. It wasn’t the plan Mary and Martha had in mind. It wasn’t easy or comfortable or understandable. But it was his plan. And in the end, it turned out to be mind-blowing.

So tonight, whatever story you find yourself in the middle of, whatever is making you question everything you believe in, know that you matter. Your pain is felt and understood. You are loved more than you know. And even if things don’t work out the way you want them to, God is in control. His plan for your life will happen no matter what. And there will be a day with no more pain. None at all.

No, that doesn’t make the pain go away. It doesn’t make things all better. But it does mean we can have hope. Even through the pain.

laugh. love. live.

stephen